No Hope!
by Slave4DanielRadcliffe
Summary: On the summer holidays with the Dursleys, Uncle Vernon makes Harry do something terrible where there is no going back on. Will Harry be able to live with himself? *CHAPTER3*
1. Beatings

"Harry Potter is not mine its J.K Rowlings"  
  
"Im not sure if this is rated R or not but I just thought since it has *Child Abuse* in this story I just rated it that way!" (Please Review)  
  
"This is Harry's POV"  
  
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Chapter 1- Beatings  
  
"Pain sheered up my spine as Uncle Vernon kicked me in the back with his foot so hard that I heard a crack." "These beatings had started two days just after I got back from Hogwarts."  
  
"The first day was fine, "But the second day was getting badder by the minute," Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, And Dudley threw all my school thing's in the river and Uncle Vernon held me so I couldn't turn away and just had to watch my trunk sink the the bottem of the river."  
  
"They were going to throw Hedwig in the river too but didn't because I cried and pleaded for them not too, So ever since then when I refuse to do something they grab Hedwig and a knife and cut lightly on her neck until I do it."  
  
"GET UP!" yelled Uncle Vernon with a beer in his hand. "I tried but as I got to my feet pain came up my leg and rested in my brain making my vision all dizzy." "HAHAHA WEAKLING!!" spat Uncle Vernon taking off his belt and hitting it across my knee's making me fall down like a ton of bricks.  
  
Uncle Vernon grabbed me around the neck and strangled me against the wall until I passed out. I knew this was because he was drunk and because Aunt Petunia had decided to go a month without sex, I don't blame her.  
  
I woke in my ex-room under the stairs. I tried to open my eyes but failed after 5 attempts I finally opened my sore swollen eyes and peered out. There was absolutely nothing in the cupboard except a calender that Dudley use to count the days until he was off of his diet.  
  
I crawled over to the calender and stared at it for awhile before working out I had only been at the Dursley's house for a week, ONLY ONE WEEK! that means I have like two months until Hogwarts.  
  
Im not going to make it. No one knows there doing this to me, Hedwig's locked up in her cage so I can't send letters out and the Dursleys put metal stable bars on the windows so I can't recieve letters!  
  
I sat there drowning in my own sorrow before crawling over to the only other thing I could see in the room. "It was a puddle of shallow water." "I wonder what I look like" I said to myself, I stared into it.  
  
Looking back at me was a boy that looked 7 but was really 12, I had scratches and bruises on both cheeks, And behind my cracked broken glasses I could see a very black very swollen, Deep black eye, Which was weeping with blood.  
  
"I looked terrible, Even my lighning bolt scar that Voldemort had given me the night he killed my parents was looking quite dull.  
  
As I sat there hungry and scared it was like I had a preminition I suddenly felt that tonight would be a very diffrent night but I couldn't put my finger on it.  
  
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	2. Goodbye Hedwig!

Chapter 2  
  
I had just fallen asleep when I was awaken by an owl banging on the window. I reconised the owl to be from Ron since Ron's owl was a one of a kind what made Ron's owl so special was because it was 5 inches smaller then any other owl (Freaky!)  
  
"Pig!" I shouted. I was so excited to see Pig I didn't hear the drop of a beer bottle and the bang of my door until it was too late. Uncle Vernon had seen the little owl perched on the window cill outside of the bars.  
  
Uncle Vernon was so angry he left the room and came back with Hedwig and a knife. I knew what Uncle Vernon was going to do but I didn't have the strength to stop him.  
  
Uncle Vernon took the owl out of the cage and closed my door so no one would hear because by the look of the sky it was still dark and Aunt Petunia, And Dudley were still fast asleep. Then Uncle Vernon put Hedwig right infront of me and gave me the big sharp butcher's knife which I didn't expect.  
  
"Kill it!" roared Uncle Vernon putting the owl on its back and pulling out a piece of string and tieing it around Hedwig's wings so she couldn't fly away. "What?" I asked confused. "Kill it!" repeated Uncle Vernon just as venomously as before.  
  
"Im not going to kill my owl!" I said looking at Hedwig's small bundle of feathers and listening to the happy song she was whistling because she was glad to be out of the dark cold shed and be able to see a bit of light and the sky she missed flying in.  
  
"But.." I was cut off by Uncle Vernon's fist flying in the air and making excellent contact with my jaw pain exploded in my jaw as I screamed and bit my lip to stop from crying. "Shutup" snapped Uncle Vernon slapping me on the back of the head and giving me more pain the I already had.  
  
"Are you going to stab the owl or do you want me to do it and give you more injuries after?" said Uncle Vernon with a growl at the end. I had no choice but to kill my beautiful owl.  
  
Tears streamed down my face as I pressed the knife lightly to Hedwig's neck I wanted to go slow to remember Hedwig but my Uncle decided to hurry me up.  
  
He pushed my hand very hard putting more pressure on the knife that was now cutting off the surculation(Or how ever you spell it) of Hedwig's neck. The whistle of Hedwig's song had drowned out by now.  
  
I quickly dropped the knife praying that Uncle Vernon would go and Hedwig would still be alive. But it was too late. Hedwig wasn't breathing and for a sec I thought I was going to faint but atleast one of my prayers came true.  
  
Uncle Vernon had left but not before he laughed evilly in my face then he walked out still laughing and proud of himself. More tears came down my cheeks mixed with blood from my aching eyes.  
  
I looked through my tears to see a very stressed and shocked Pig(Not literally) I began to howl and yell at the small owl to leave me alone.  
  
Once the little owl had reluctanly gone back to Ron I hugged Hedwig's ragged body that was drenched in blood and Hedwig's head was wobbling like Nearly Headless Nick's.  
  
By the time I had cried myself to sleep it was well past midnight and my face was tear strand and patches of blood were in my hair and on my cheeks and arms from Hedwig.  
  
I wrapped Hedwig up in my arms like she was still alive and got ready for a sad uneasy sleep.  
  
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I am working on Chapter 3!  
  
*Chapter 3 coming soon* 


	3. I am to Blame!

Chapter3  
  
When I woke it was late in the afternoon about 2 3:00. At first I thought it was all a bad dream, But when I saw Hedwig's body lying next to me I knew it was far from a dream.  
  
I couldn't believe the Dursleys hadn't woken me up to cook, Wash, Or clean anything yet. I heard something at the window I looked up and infront of me behind the bars were two owls, One was a big brown barn owl from Hogwarts, And the other was a ginger owl with black spots on both wings.  
  
I could just see that the spotted owl had brought a neat tidy later from Hermione I didn't care though I didn't deserve to go back to Hogwarts again, I didn't deserve biscuits,cakes, And Choclate Frogs after I moderered(Forgot how to spell it) my own owl friend.  
  
After a few minutes the two Owls got sick and tired of waiting for me to take there letters so they flew away. I watched sadly as the two Owls parted at the horizen and went there seperate ways.  
  
Thats how it was for days Owls came and Owls went. I got fed one plain half a roll, And half a glass of water from Aunt Petunia once a day. I didn't argue though I was glad to get anything. And if I was lucky enough I would get Dudley's old scraps from lunch.  
  
The beatings from Uncle Vernon only happened twice a week now since Aunt Petunia decided to cut the no sex for a month out, And once or twice a day Dudley would come into the lounge room showing of some delicious food while I cleaned and washed.  
  
I had been at the Dursley's house for a week and 3 days now and I still had Hedwig's body in my room(If you would call it a room that is) Hedwig's body stank of rotten eggs and old socks(Even older then mine) But I didn't care I was the one that put her in that state.  
  
One early morning I lay awake on the cupboard floor since there was no bed to lie on. I was looking at Hedwig intently, I whispered under my breath, "I am selfish," "I could have saved Hedwig but I didn't I am selfish."  
  
I constanly muttered that under my breath for hours on end. If some one were to see me now they would probably ring up the mental hospital and see if anyone had escaped recently.  
  
For a whole day I just stared blankly into thin air telling myself I was selfish. More then once I caught myself staring at the butcher's knife Uncle Vernon hadn't put back in the kitchen yet.  
  
I decided to punish myself every now and then by cutting my arms,legs, And even my face with the large sharp knife not even caring that it hurt and was destroying my skin, I even started to ask Uncle Vernon to beat me more often which was pretty weird.  
  
Days past by I didn't eat or drink anything. The Dursley's had decided to leave me in the cupboard and not let me out ever since I threatened Dudley with a spoon when I was cleaning the dishes one afternoon,  
  
I only threatened Dudley with a spoon because he kept putting ice cream in my face. As 3 more days plast by Hedwig's body had slowly began to turn to bones and stunk more then before.  
  
A little like me except my bones were covered with skin but you could almost see through my flesh which hadn't surprised me since I hadn't ate in weeks. As I looked out to the horizen through my bars one night I saw something that wasn't part of the horizen.  
  
Something flying it was bigger then a fly, Bigger then a bird, And bigger then a plane. But what ever it was it was flying towards my window.  
  
To be continued..... 


End file.
